A Set Back

If anyone is reading this, please pray for John. After going through so much last year, we were distressed to learn the day before Thanksgiving that his cancer has returned again in his left lung. Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, December 9. After some healing, we will head to Indianapolis to see if there are treatment options as our local oncologist says we are in uncharted waters.

Although John remains in pretty good spirits, this has been a real blow to me and I am struggling big time. It is difficult to understand the purpose as we were so looking forward to having opportunities to serve as John was able and grow in our spiritual walk. The kids have been great but I sometimes think they are keeping it together because I certainly am not. Feeling like I'm really failing everyone. I know I am not alone in feeling deserted and wondering why God allows things like this to happen. We have prayed and prayed and felt like we received some words from Him but they aren't holding much meaning for me right now. I can rationalize everything in my mind and make the senselessness of it makes sense, but emotionally, I can make sense of it at all. I'm angry and hurt and feel like there is a hole in my heart.

Please pray for John's healing, for strength for all of us, and faith. I know God can do miracles but I don't understand why he hasn't.