Bayless Fans

John and I love Bayless Conley. He is pastor to a church in Los Alamitos, CA, very near to John's parent's home. We can't wait to visit his church next time we're fortunate enough to visit SoCal.

Below is his weekly e-mail message that we receive. Thought it was particularly practical today.

Winning an Offended Brother
Proverbs 18:19 tells us,

A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.

When this verse refers to a “strong city,” it means a fortified or a guarded city. You cannot just waltz up to the gate of a fortified city and say “give up.” It takes strategic planning to take such a city. You have to think things through and have a plan.

It also means there is going to be strenuous effort involved. And, more than likely, you will be in a vulnerable position. In fact, you don't take a strong city without taking risks, without becoming vulnerable.

The same things come into play when a brother is offended. It takes thoughtful planning, it takes effort, and sometimes you have to become vulnerable when you do not want to be.

Perhaps you are struggling with a damaged relationship today, and you haven't pursued healing this relationship because you don't know how to do it. It always starts with prayer. You talk to God about them and about yourself, and then you need to go and talk to them.

When you do, I want you to listen carefully, it should not be with a view to prove that you are right. Being right is not the goal. Peace is. Most of the time it is more important to be kind than it is to be right.

If you try to work something out, but only with the intention of having them understand your point of view so that you can prove you are right, you may win the argument, but you will never make peace.

We saw the oncologist this morning, just for a follow up of our visit with the IN Dr. and to have blood work done. He confirmed no treatment at this time and that we just need to hope that it doesn't return. Said most patients like John are usually dead so they don't quite know what to do but agree that if he has chemo now, it won't help them help him in the future - if he needs it. Dr. wanted to see him in eight weeks. I compromised at six weeks. He'll have a CT scan and more blood work before that.

We're very grateful for so much, and although we could certainly have done without all that we have been through, we are very different people than when we started out on this journey. I wouldn't try to explain because I'm not sure there are words in me to do so, and no response from you is required.

We appreciate your continued prayer for John to remain in health and grow in strength and for us to be open to God's leading.

As an encouragement to you all, I want you to know that John is reading his Bible voraciously, with a commitment to read the New Testament each month this year. He is also re-reading many books daily to help with memorization and is amazed at the insights he is gaining. We encourage all of you to read His word daily for a fresh understanding.

This morning I heard a message about character from Woodroll Kroll on Back to the Bible. It really spoke to me. You can read the text or listen via mp3 at: http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible.html

Pam


PS - Son, John, has a new blog. I think he is missing his writing days. Check it out: http://apocalypsesomeday.wordpress.com/